Coffee! The cure all! Hepatitis flaring up? Gout got you down? Black and white and red all over? Have I got the thing for you! It’s a miracle drug. And that starts with D, which rhymes with C and that’s for Coffee! Coffee my friends! Cures what ails you. You say a gypsy put a curse on you where you get a little thinner every day until you disappear? Dark roast! You got that Benjamin Button thing and you’re aging backwards? Light roast! Snake bit? Feline AIDS? Sick as a dog? Coffee. Coffee! COFFEE!!